Everyone deserves the chance to build meaningful relationships, including friendships and love. For people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD), dating can be an exciting part of life, just like it is for anyone else.

Person-centered planning is all about supporting individuals based on their unique needs, dreams, and goals. It empowers people with disabilities to live fulfilling lives, including exploring relationships and experiencing the highs and lows of human connections.

Dating can be an exciting and rewarding experience for people with disabilities, and as a family member, you play an important role in helping them navigate this journey. Here are three simple tips to support the self-advocate in your family as they explore dating and relationships:

Find Safe Spaces for Socializing

• • • • In-Person Opportunities: Help them find local activities or events where they can meet people who share their interests. This could be through hobbies, classes, or volunteering for causes they care about. These settings create natural opportunities to connect and build friendships.
      • Online Communities: If they’re comfortable with it, introduce them to dating apps or social platforms designed for individuals with disabilities. Make it fun and educational. For long-distance connections, encourage virtual dating games or streaming movies together.

Provide Guidance When Needed

• • • • Practice Through Role-Playing: Help them feel confident by practicing social scenarios. Role-playing conversation starters or how to respond to different situations can ease anxiety and build social skills.
      • Talk About Boundaries and Consent: Openly discuss what healthy relationships look like, the importance of boundaries, and understanding consent in a way that feels approachable and engaging.
      • Have a Safety Plan: Prepare them for challenges like scams, hurt feelings, or misunderstandings. Encourage them to share their expectations for relationships and values, and remind them they can turn to a trusted adult for advice.

Be Supportive and Positive

• • • • Celebrate Milestones: Whether it’s their first date or making a meaningful new connection, celebrate these moments with them to build confidence and excitement.
      • Use Positive Reinforcement: Cheer them on with kind words and affirmations about their efforts and relationships.
      • Embrace Differences: Understand that relationships in the disability community may look different from typical ones, but can be just as meaningful. Focus on what makes them happy and fulfilled.

By creating a supportive and understanding environment, you can help your loved one confidently explore relationships and enjoy the experience of connecting with others.

References

American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities. (2008). Sexuality. Retrieved from https://www.aaidd.org/news-policy/policy/position-statements/sexuality

NeuroNav. (2024). 7 tips for making friends: A guide for adults with intellectual disabilities. Retrieved from https://neuronav.org/self-determination-blog/tips-for-making-friends-guide-for-adults-with-intellectual-disabilities