When “I’m Fine” Isn’t the Whole Story

Why Talking About Suicide Matters

Talking about suicide and mental health can feel uncomfortable and sometimes even scary, regardless of age. However, avoiding these conversations or not creating a space where it feels safe to talk can leave people feeling alone and isolated. 

Suicide affects more people than many of us realize. In 2024, suicide was the 10th leading cause of death in the United States and the 2nd leading cause of death among people ages 10–34. Learn more about suicide statistics from the CDC.

These numbers demonstrate just how prevalent a concern suicide is in our community and why it’s important to talk about mental well-being with those that we love.

Things to Know

• Firearm access matters. In 2024, firearms were involved in more than half of all suicide deaths in the U.S. Safe storage and reducing access to firearms during a crisis can be important suicide-prevention steps. (AFSP)
• Mental health conditions can increase risk. Many people who die by suicide have an underlying mental health condition, such as depression or a mood disorder. Some conditions may be untreated or undiagnosed. (NAMI)
• Substance use can also increase risk. Alcohol and other substance use can increase impulsivity, affect judgment, and make it more difficult to cope with emotional distress.
• Talking about suicide does not put the idea in someone’s head. Asking directly and creating a safe space for honest conversations can help someone feel heard and supported.
• Suicide affects males and females differently. Suicide deaths are approximately four times higher among males than females. (AFSP)
• You don’t have to wait for a crisis to check in. Regular conversations about emotions and mental well-being can make it easier for children, teens, and adults to ask for help when they need it.

Creating a Safe Space/Support System

When the people around us know that it’s okay to talk about difficult emotions and situations, they may be more likely to reach out when they are struggling. You don’t have to have all the answers, and there is no simple solution to suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, simply showing someone that you care, that you are there to listen, and that they are not alone can make a meaningful difference.

Building a strong foundation for communication in our homes and communities is important, and it doesn’t have to begin during a crisis. Regular check-ins and meaningful conversations can make it easier to talk about difficult topics when they arise.

Families also don’t have to navigate serious mental health challenges alone. Families of children and youth ages 2–21 experiencing significant mental health needs may be eligible for support through Utah’s System of Care (SOC). This program provides intensive, in-home support using a wraparound approach that centers the youth and family in the planning process and is tailored to their individual needs and goals. 

Conversation Starters

Speaking about mental well-being can really make a difference in your children’s lives. When they know it is safe to talk about their emotions without being judged, they are more likely to be honest about what they are going through. Here are a few ideas of how you can get those conversations started;

• “Is there anything that has been bothering you lately that you haven’t talked about?”
• “Are you feeling lonely, stressed, or anxious?”
• “What’s something I can do for you right now that could help you feel better?
• “Remember, you can talk to me about anything; I won’t judge you”
• “Is there someone you would feel comfortable talking to about this?”
• “I am here for you; I believe you. We will get through this together”

Tip: Have these conversations while out for a walk or taking a drive. It’s less intimidating to do it in a space where the conversation comes through more naturally and will make it feel less like a lecture than if you were to do it at the dining table or living room. 

Know the Signs

Not everyone who is considering attempting suicide will show warning signs. However, the following are a few common warning signs that we should all be aware of.

• A recent fascination with death
• Feeling hopeless, worthless, trapped, guilty, angry
• Feeling like they are a burden to others
• Increased drug or alcohol usage 
• Losing interest in their appearance or favorite activities
• Withdrawing from family/friends
• Giving away prized possessions
• Saying goodbye

Not sure what signs to look for? The Suicide Prevention Resource Center’s guide to warning signs can help families recognize when someone may need additional support. 

Self Care 

Supporting someone facing mental health challenges can be emotionally exhausting. As a parent or caregiver, it’s normal to feel worried, guilty, overwhelmed, or frustrated. Remember, you don’t have to carry this responsibility alone.

Taking care of yourself helps you be more present for your child. Self-care doesn’t have to cost anything. It can be as simple as:

• Getting enough sleep
• Taking a walk
• Taking a break
• Talking to someone you trust
• Asking for help

Taking care of yourself also shows your child that it’s okay to recharge, care for yourself, and ask for help.

Myths about Suicide

Many myths and misconceptions about suicide can make these conversations feel even more difficult. Understanding what is true and what isn’t can help families feel more confident talking about suicide and supporting someone who may be struggling. 

Myth: Talking about suicide will lead to and encourage suicide.

Fact: There is a widespread stigma (shame, judgment, or negative attitude) surrounding suicide, and as a result, many people may be afraid to talk about it. Talking openly about suicide can help reduce stigma, create opportunities to seek help, and allow people to share what they are experiencing. Learn more about this and other common suicide myths in NAMI’s guide to suicide myths and facts. 

Myth: Talking about suicide increases the chance a person will act on it.

Fact: Talking about suicide may reduce, rather than increase, suicidal ideation. It improves mental health-related outcomes and the likelihood that the person will seek treatment. Opening this conversation helps people find an alternative view of their existing circumstances. If someone is in crisis or depressed, asking if they are thinking about suicide can help, so don’t hesitate to start the conversation. Learn more about this and other common suicide myths from the Mayo Clinic Health System. 

Myth: Happy or successful people do not die by suicide.

Fact: Outward appearances do not reflect internal pain. People often hide severe depression, trauma, or overwhelming stress behind a cheerful or successful facade. 

Keep the Conversation Going

Talking about suicide can feel uncomfortable, but you don’t have to have all the right words or all the answers. Being willing to listen, ask questions, and let someone know they are not alone can make a meaningful difference. If you or someone you care about is struggling, help is available, and you don’t have to navigate it alone. The following resources can help you find support, guidance, and next steps.

Resources 

Support for people who have thoughts of suicide comes in various forms. Today, people are able to get support via text, chat, phone or in person. Thousands of people have been able to get help by using free services. If you or someone you know is at risk of suicide, you can find support in these programs; 

• Safe UT: 24/7 free mobile phone app where people can chat with a licensed counselor or share a safety concern. Licensed counselors are employed by Huntsman Mental Health Institute at University of Utah Health. https://safeut.org/ 
• 988 Lifeline: Call, chat, text options for Deaf and/or Hard of Hearing available. 
• QPR: Suicide Prevention Education: FREE online 60-90 minute online workshop through NAMI